Anniversary - three years on from hospital...

So...it's 5th August and that means *drum roll* it's time for another emotional/personal post marking my (this time) THREE year anniversary after being discharged from hospital.

I will start this post with the same preface as the last two years "I have just written a 'status update' on my personal Facebook page to my friends and it occurred to me that I also want to say thank you to all of YOU. So I'm going to paste in what I wrote word-for-word on here. 
This isn't something I thought I would ever feel comfortable doing. I try to keep Life In Recovery and my personal life reasonably separate. Not because I am ashamed of the blog but because I think it works better if I don't use this as a platform to air my private life and that I use my past and present experiences in a constructive way to help others who may be struggling. That won't be changing.Keeping this blog, creating videos and posting little (or a lotta) bits on Twitter has been an absolutely wonderful experience. I hope to continue the work I have only just started and love interacting and discovering all of you 'out there.' This is why I felt it was relevant to post the message I sent to my friends and family to you all as well."

For the full effect (and for the new readers amongst you) you can read my first year anniversary post here and my second here.

Here we go:

"WARNING – another of my soppy anniversary posts (read: essays). Today is August 5^th, and marks three years since I was discharged from hospital.

This year the anniversary feels quite a different beast to the last two years. It crept up on me, for a start. I completely forgot about it until I was on my way into work yesterday and panicked that I’d somehow missed it. Personally, I think this is a great sign; a sign that I am starting to feel more space between me and the years I spent unwell. A ‘healthy’ space. A space that means I feel I am not completely defined by a decade-plus of illness. A space that feels good.

This past year has been another roller-coaster of a ride. Yes, I still have to be careful. Yes, I’m still finding my way. No, I won’t forget what happened or pretend it didn’t. No, I won’t take things for granted. This year there have been tears and triumphs. Things to grieve over, and things to rejoice about. Things I have done for the first time, and things I have done for the last. There have been people I have said goodbye to, and many people I have met for the first time. We have worked, we have played, we have studied and we have lived. For all these things and so many more, I am grateful.

On this day, three years ago I woke with the knowledge that a new and exciting chapter of life was just beginning. Three years later, I woke up this morning with the same knowledge.

Sitting here typing this (fairly un-edited stream of consciousness) with tears running down my face – I am completely at a loss to express how much I (still) feel about the last few years and the time I was unwell. I have so many of you to thank. So many of you who helped me reach where I am today. So many who are helping me discover just how incredible and exhilarating life can be.

A year of milestones, surprises, new beginnings, goodbyes, change, love, laughter, tears, family, new and old friends. A year of growing, learning and maturing. A year you have all been part of. And for that I am very lucky.

I will quote my post from last year, “To the friends and family who have seen up close the changes these past couple of years have brought and who've been there with a solid shoulder, a helping hand, a beaming smile or a thumbs up - thank you”.

Life. Is. Good."

What anniversaries do you mark? Are you a fan of reflecting on milestones or key moments of your life?

How to get in touch:

YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2

Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/Recovering_Life

Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/

Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Recovering.Life

Anniversary - One year on from hospital....

I have just written a 'status update' on my personal Facebook page to my friends and it occurred to me that I also want to say thank you to all of YOU. So I'm going to paste in what I wrote word-for-word on here.
This isn't something I thought I would ever feel comfortable doing. I try to keep Life In Recovery and my personal life reasonably separate. Not because I am ashamed of the blog but because I think it works better if I don't use this as a platform to air my private life and that I use my past and present experiences in a constructive way to help others who may be struggling. That won't be changing.

Keeping this blog, creating videos and posting little (or a lotta) bits on Twitter has been an absolutely wonderful experience. I hope to continue the work I have only just started and love interacting and discovering all of you 'out there.' This is why I felt it was relevant to post the message I sent to my friends and family to you all as well.

So here goes...

I don't normally do this on FB but it's a handy way to reach a lot of you all at once!

Some of you will already be aware of the significance of today's date to me but for those who aren't...Today (August 5th) marks exactly one year since I was discharged from hospital!

Words can't express how wonderful and incredible the last year has been. To be able to be writing this at all is mind-blowing!

I can't say thank you enough to those of you who helped me through the tough (!) times for so many years. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I wouldn't be here today without you. Your ongoing friendship means the world to me.

To the friends I've met more recently I also wish to thank you hugely. Your support, understanding and most of all your inclusion of me in your lives has been so amazing and life-enhancing.

I thought about how I wanted to mark today and decided very quickly that I wanted to go back to the hospital I was last in. So today I am off to pay a visit to the unit I spent my last few inpatient months in. Taking along a HUGE home-baked carrot cake, lots of tissues and a sack full of gratitude and news! I'm going to spend a couple of hours seeing some of the doctors and nurses who have made such an impact in my life and I’ll also be able to tell them that properly face-to-face.

Going back today will also be a chance to reflect on and try to digest the enormity of the past year and just be able to reflect on how much has changed for the better. The past year has been full of firsts (and seconds and thirds…) and it's been a roller-coaster ride of epic proportions to say the least.

I wish I could convey to you all how much I appreciate and value your presence. Sharing this new chapter in my life and revelling in the real chance of a happy, healthy and full life is the best I can do to show this. I know how lucky I am to have such excellent family and friends.

Here's to another blockbuster of a year!

With love, thanks and amazement.

How to get in touch:

YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/Recovering_Life
Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/
Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Recovering.Life

Bitchy women: crescendo in catty culture

Near where I live there’s a very nice organic, home-made, yoga lifestyle sort of café. In essence it should be the kind of place I’d be naturally drawn to and want to frequent. 
However, I don’t. 
In fact when I pass it, as I do almost daily, I scuttle by and try to ignore its siren call. Why? Is the coffee awful? Or are the owners rude? Is it dirty/smelly/noisy? No. 
The issue isn’t with the café itself it’s with the people who choose to eat and drink there. It’s a yummy-mummy hangout which is fine in itself but the problem is that all these women seem to talk about is how, "Mrs F looked rough this morning", "Miss B is having trouble with the boyfriend" or that, "Mr and Mrs T are struggling financially". You can’t escape the conversations, however hard you try not to hear them. 

The first time I visited the café I very nearly walked over to the circle of gossiping women to point out that maybe their ‘friend’ was having so much trouble because, instead of trying to be there for her, they were choosing to spend their time ripping her life to pieces instead. The phrase “With friends like these, who needs enemies” hits the nail on the head.

I have stood on tube platforms, been in a queue or looked up from chatting with friends and received one of those up-and-down looks from another woman where you’re made to feel about as small and welcome as a cockroach. The American’s call it giving someone the ‘stink eye.’ This sums it up nicely. It’s hugely rude, disrespectful and hurtful to be judged purely on the way you look or just because you happen to be a fellow woman who might be competition.

However, it’s not just us as individuals who seem to enjoy bitching and sniping about other women; the media adds fuel to the already blazing fire by publishing articles that pit one woman against another. 
Did so-and-so wear it better? Is what’s-her-face the new ‘it’ girl? Ms X dethrones Ms Z as the new princess of pop/queen of our hearts/fashionista/media darling. 
It’s a human version of cock fighting. 
Yet instead of realising how barbaric, demeaning and destructive this trend for setting women against each other is we, as a society and a sex, are in the thick of the crowd egging the fight on!

I’m not asking that all women should link arms and walk off into the sunset together; that’s not realistic. We will have our differences and disagreements - that’s part of being individuals. All I ask is that we stop perpetuating a hate and vitriol-filled society where we seem to take pleasure from other people’s pain. Where we revel and crow over our neighbour’s failings and misfortunes. 

My wish is that we can accept other, respect choices, support our friends in rough times and not judge a book by its cover. My wish is that we can enjoy each others successes, not view people as a threat, or someone to 'take down' and that we can be confident enough in ourselves to build up and boost those around us.

Someone once said “When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself”. 

Do you feel the same way (as a man or as a woman)? Have you been on the receiving end of one of those 'stink eyes'? Do you feel that the media pit women against each other one minute and then berate the women who do "compete"?

How to get in touch:

YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/Recovering_Life
Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/
Email - lifeinrecovery@mail.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Recovering.Life