Anniversary: four years on from hospital...

I will start this post with the same preface as the last three years "I have just written a 'status update' on my personal Facebook page to my friends and it occurred to me that I also want to say thank you to all of YOU. So I'm going to paste in what I wrote word-for-word on here. 
This isn't something I thought I would ever feel comfortable doing. I try to keep Life In Recovery and my personal life reasonably separate. Not because I am ashamed of the blog but because I think it works better if I don't use this as a platform to air my private life and that I use my past and present experiences in a constructive way to help others who may be struggling. That won't be changing.Keeping this blog, creating videos and posting little (or a lotta) bits on Twitter has been an absolutely wonderful experience. I hope to continue the work I have only just started and love interacting and discovering all of you 'out there.' This is why I felt it was relevant to post the message I sent to my friends and family to you all as well."

For the full effect (and for the new readers amongst you) you can read my first year anniversary post here and my second here and my third year here.

"Today is 5th August - and you know what that means Facebook friends...Yes, it's time for another of my epically soppy anniversary stream of consciousness-es.

Today marks four years exactly since I was discharged from hospital. Four years. Only four. If I thought the last three of these anniversary posts were hard to write this year's is even more so. Normally I like to spend a bit of time reflecting on what the last years have held and how far I've come; I like to remember all the incredible, patient, loving and hard-working people who helped me get where I am today, and I like to try to sum it all up neatly here (which I won't do this year!)

While I won't ever forget the pain and the hard times; it's so important to remember the joy of that first walk in the park seeing a squirrel, or going out for lunch for the first time, or slicing a loaf of bread, or making someone a cup of tea.

This year I don't have the chance to devote half a day to reminiscences, like previous years. But I think that says it all really - last year's post talked about how I almost missed the anniversary - that it almost passed me by, because I was too busy living my life. And this year is the same.

The past year has been filled with new experiences, new faces and new challenges. I have done things I never dreamed I could or would do, I am doing things that seemed so far out of reach and I'm becoming the person I want to be. Even in my darkest moments, when I tried to find and cling onto the hope that I would get through things, I could never have imagined how much could happen in four years.

With a new year of challenges and lots of change can come difficulties, but the last year has had so many more highs than lows and as I've said before, bumps in the road are just part of living a full life. I want to live life like a heartbeat, with all its ups and downs; not flatlining.

I often think things will plateau and I am sure there will come a time where no massive shifts or great strides happen - and this may be the last year where I notice big progress. Yet in the last year I have grown: bolder, stronger, healthier, more unafraid, more silly, more hungry, less wary, more sure, braver. More me. And for the opportunity to do that, I can never put into words. I am incredibly lucky, incredibly grateful and incredibly hopeful.

Going into my fifth year out of hospital feels amazing. Very soon I will stop having my regular appointments, a decision I made before the summer and one that I think shows I must have confidence in both my health and my self.

So, as I try not to cry (again) and I prepare to celebrate someone else's anniversary and don my heels, I'm reminded that this time four years ago I was putting on a pair of high heels in my hospital room as I had been determined to walk out in style, having entered on a stretcher. Yes, then, I may have only just made it out of the front door before having to stop, but still...! Tonight I'll dance all night!

I will quote my post from the last two years, “To the friends and family who have seen up close the changes these past couple of years have brought and who've been there with a solid shoulder, a helping hand, a beaming smile or a thumbs up - thank you”. I couldn't have done this, or enjoyed myself so much without you.

Life. Is. Good."

Do you mark milestones and life anniversaries?

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