Month In Review: MARCH 2018

Word/quote of the month: "Work hard, play hard"

This has been the month that was.
That was full of work, full of fun, full of friends and just plain full-on. The last three March-es have been similar in that they have had potentially a little bit too much going on in them. Last year I spoke about burning the candle at both ends - which you can watch here, and the year before that I spoke about balance which can be found here. Leaving aside the fact that I don't seem to learn lessons very quickly (!) I think this is a problem with the modern world where we try and cram too much into our days and nights. We can often feel guilty for not constantly working or moving forward, we can often feel that we need to stay busy to cover up insecurities, we can often feel like we 'need' to be doing 'stuff' so that we aren't left with our own company and we can often feel like we just can't say no, or are too tempted so we say yes. Whatever the reason, I think it's worth remembering that it's just as important to take some time out as to be busy. It's important to be able to switch off and just be.
If we are relentlessly pursuing something, always reaching, always planning the next five activities, then we can forget to enjoy the now. Plus, it is very easy to burn out. I decided to take a couple of evenings off this week, and feel so much the better for it. Having had something on every night for weeks and weeks, and my days filled with studying and work, something had to give. And I didn't want it to be my health or my sanity. So kids, the phrase of the month may be: work hard, play hard - and boy is it fun to live by that...but maybe we should also add rest and relax to that, so that we can enjoy the work and the play for longer.


Healthy meal/food of the month: SOUP

It's been cold - bitterly so. We have had blizzards in London and the weather has made us all want to hibernate. That means one thing, and one thing only, is the perfect lunch: soup.
Nothing beats a bowl or mug full of hot soup with a hunk of bread to dip in. I always like to have a home-made and good quality veg or chicken stock on hand to make my own soup; but shop-bought is equally pleasing and comforting (and more convenient at times).

Lesson of the month: Communication is key

Not a new lesson, but one that keeps cropping up lately, so I think it is worth noting down. This month (and the last couple) have continued to test my communication skills, and show the importance of them. Whether you are struggling with family issues, arguing with a friend, trying to keep in touch long-distance, giving a speech at work, doing an interview or trying to get to know someone or something...communication is key. Obviously communication goes both ways - it's awful when just one party is making all the effort or you're banging your head against a brick wall, but I think it is so important to be able to say what you feel and think and tackle issues head on.

Bite the bullet and say you don't agree with someone. Swallow your pride and admit you don't know what is going on. Tamp down your fear and ask that burning question.
See something silly that reminds you of a friend? Send them a voice note or a picture. Miss someone? Tell them! Want to see someone more? Ask them to hang out! Intrigued about an opportunity? Ask someone who knows! Worried about something? Try and get to the bottom of it! Avoiding an issue? Think about how to solve it!

They say your vibe attracts your tribe, and this month I have been reminded again just how awesome my tribe is - and I've been spending a lot of time with my friends. I want to keep them in my life. And  to do that you have to put in effort, even when things are a bit tough, or when you're busy, or stressed. As I said earlier, communication needs to be mutual - so, having said all of that, sometimes it is important to know when you're flogging a dead horse - sometimes it is the wiser, healthier and better choice to let things lie. Reserve your energy for the people who, and the things that, reflect your energy back; and are positive influences in your life that make you feel good. Don't pour your energy and time into something or someone that won't do the same for you. It's a hard lesson, but an important one to learn, and something I've spoken about a lot - here in May 2017 and here in October 2017.

I think the ultimate lesson is: however scared or worried or bored or complacent or angry you are - making yourself communicate and connect with those around you is really important. It can be healing and enlivening, it can shift and change your world for the better. You are in charge; you pick who and what you want in your life; say what that is, and I think you'll be happily surprised by the result. And don't accept less than you deserve or less than you want from life. Communicate what that is - and the chances are, you will get it, or attract it, or make it happen.


Healthy thing to do: RELAX

As I have intimated - it has been a whirlwind of a month, and I am in desperate need of some relaxation time - I think a lot of us are. I even wrote a blog post on it in March. So if you're interested in reading more about the art of relaxation and how important it is to have time out then read it here.
March can often be a month where people get run down, ill and depleted. Taking time to relax, and prioritising some 'down time' can help re-centre an re-balance you and send yourself the right messages.


Goal for the next month: Revision, rest and regaining the gym

April is revision season, so I can't escape the fact that I'm going to be chained to my computer/desk/revision notes. However, I learned a lot last year about factoring in breaks and getting some exercise too, so that is the goal.


What has March held for you? Any lessons learned?

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Wellbeing Basics: Breathing

The second in my Wellbeing Basics series. The first one on sleep can be found here.

Here's a blonde joke (disclaimer: as a blonde-ish person myself I feel I am allowed to make one…sort of) - A blonde walks into a beauty shop with a pair of headphones on. She asks for a haircut. The blonde is led to a chair and asked to sit down. "Make my hair look good, but whatever you do, don't take off the headphones", the blonde instructs. The blonde falls asleep during the haircut and the hair stylist thinks, "It’s really hard to cut with these headphones on". She takes them off, and the blonde dies. The stylist calls an ambulance and when they take the blonde away the intrigued stylist picks up the headphones and takes a listen. She hears a little voice saying "Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out..." So now you all know (if you hadn’t guessed already) that breathing is rather important – and you can actually be doing it wrong!

Why should I care about my breathing so much?

Apart from the obvious (see above), our breathing – or more importantly the way we breathe – can have a big impact on, not only our bodies, but also our emotions. Breathing is an automatic mechanism. It’s controlled by our autonomic nervous system and we don’t have to consciously think about breathing in and out. Because our bodies are incredibly clever, our autonomic nervous system adjusts our breathing to suit our body’s needs. If we are exerting ourselves, if we are anxious, if we are ill – our breathing changes as a result. This can be very helpful. However, it can also sometimes be unhelpful. Over-breathing (or hyperventilation) can upset our body’s chemistry and in turn result in negative physical and emotional symptoms. The opposite problem – hypoventilation (breathing too slowly) can result in too much carbon dioxide being in the blood and not enough oxygen. Studies have shown that there is a high correlation between ‘incorrect’ breathing and a number of illnesses, for example: heart disease, high blood pressure, insomnia, chronic inflammation, anxiety – to name but a few.

Someone told me I’m breathing from the wrong place – how is that possible?

We know that breathing too quickly or too slowly can be unhelpful, but it also matters where you’re breathing from. This may sound odd, but a lot of people breathe from the ‘wrong’ place.

Here’s a simple test to check: if you take a minute or so and concentrate on your breathing what part of your body is rising and falling? Are your chest and shoulders moving, or is your abdomen?

If your chest and shoulders are rising and falling, this probably means you aren’t using your diaphragm (a huge, dome-shaped muscle at the bottom of the rib cage) to breathe. The diaphragm is the best place to breathe from. Chest breathing can mean you feel anxious a lot of the time, that you’re over-breathing and causing potential imbalances to your body chemistry. Disproportionate amounts of oxygen and carbon dioxide can have a radical impact on your health – meaning you can feel fatigued, nervy or cross; while potentially doing yourself more serious damage in the long run.

I find the most helpful way to calm myself is to concentrate on my stomach and breathe from there. Think of your abdomen as a balloon that’s slowly filling up with air as you inhale and then slowly releasing the air (or deflating the balloon) as you exhale – try to do this without your chest or shoulders rising. Another option is to lie flat on the floor or your bed and place a book on your stomach, covering your belly button, and try to lift the book by breathing in and out – this can help focus your mind on exactly where you should be breathing from. Attempt to make your stomach bigger (vanity will have to be out aside!) – this way your body will learn to breathe from your diaphragm rather than your chest.

Many people can find it a slightly uncomfortable or strange experience to change their breathing pattern – but I would suggest you try it and keep persevering! You may feel sleepy at first, or get some funny flutterings in your diaphragm – these are all part of your body adapting to quite a significant change to its norm. It is, however, a positive change. If you can practice this technique for a couple of minutes a day, you will slowly start to breathe from your diaphragm reaping the rewards, both physically and emotionally, as a result.

Five tips to breathe in a healthier way:

·       Join a choir – you will learn all about breath control and diaphragmatic breathing, plus it can be a fun and rewarding activity!

·       Try 7/11 breathing for five to ten minutes every day – that’s inhaling for seven seconds and then exhaling for eleven seconds, this can help regulate your breathing and re-balance your body chemistry.

·       Be more mindful – we can unconsciously hold our breath when we are anxious, angry, concentrating or exerting ourselves; try to be more aware of your breath and how you are breathing – I talk a little about breathing in an old video of mine here (at about 9 and a half minutes in).

·       Practice yoga or Tai Chi – a lot of yoga and Tai Chi exercises include breathing techniques which may prove beneficial, plus you’re getting some exercise at the same time; it’s a win, win really!

·       Download a breathing app – it may sound very close to the blonde joke I opened with, but they can be very useful as a guide if you need to quickly regulate your breathing or calm down – I’ve been using Breathing Zone, but there are lots of free options which I am sure are just as helpful. I talked a bit about Breathing Zone in this video here.

Do you breathe using your diaphragm? What are some things you find helpful to regulate your breathing?

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Wellbeing Basics: Sleeping

“Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together” said Thomas Dekker, a writer in the Elizabethan times. And boy, was he right! Sleep (or lack thereof) is such a hot topic. Recently, the world has started waking up (pun intended) to the fact that getting good quality sleep is one of the foundations of a healthy life. This article will try to answer a few of the most common questions about sleep and hopefully help you to get a better night’s rest - one of the basics of wellbeing, and my first piece in the series.

Why is sleep so important anyway?

Sleep improves not only your physical health, but your emotional health too. Studies have shown that adequate sleep can help aid memory, reduce inflammation, improve our immune system, boost our ability to learn, improve mood and so much more. Chronic sleep deprivation (regularly getting less sleep than you need) is becoming a global issue. The impact of not getting the optimum amount of sleep can be serious. One study has found that not getting enough sleep is more dangerous to your health than smoking, having high blood pressure or heart disease. While this may sound like scare-mongering, lack of sleep (or sleep debt) can seriously impact your quality of life.  For example, you may find that you put on weight, are less able to focus, feel anxious or get ill more often if you are in a state of sleep debt.

What are the different phases of sleep; what do they mean for me?

There has been a lot of research into sleep and the theories are still developing, but the general consensus is that there are a few different stages of sleep.

One of these is REM (Rapid Eye Movement). This type of sleep is the most ‘active’ part of your sleep – this is thought to be the stage where you dream. In REM sleep, your brain can be as active as it is when you are awake. Your brain is not only processing the events of the day, but also doing a bit of ‘waste management’ by clearing away toxins and strengthening/weakening connections in our brain.

Another kind of sleep is NREM (Non-Rapid Eye Movement). This can be further broken down into four stages. Essentially, the last two stages of NREM are the deepest parts of your sleep. This is when your body heals and restores itself. Hormones are released which build muscle, energy is replenished, tissues are healed, blood pressure and heart rate drops.

Hopefully this shows you that, far from being a waste of time, sleep is a key component in rebuilding, renewing and maintaining a healthy and happy life.

Why is eight hours considered the ‘magic’ number?

There is a theory (much touted) that eight hours is the perfect amount of sleep to have. However, this theory is being challenged. Some people seem to need less, some more. There is such a thing as sleeping too much; this can actually be as harmful as not getting enough sleep.

How much sleep we need can depend on many things such as our age, life events, and illness. I think the answer to this question lies with the individual. Ask yourself if you feel at your best with five…seven…ten hours of sleep. If your answer is different from the amount you usually get, then something needs to change for you to get your optimum amount of sleep.

I can’t get to sleep – how do I sort this out?

Our modern day lives are not allowing us to get enough sleep, but they also are damaging our ability to ‘wind down’ and switch off. Sleep hygiene is a new-ish concept and I made a video talking about some simple habits to help improve sleep here.

With our addiction to the internet and smart phones it’s incredibly easy to remain hyper-active and alert during the hour or so before bedtime. We bring TVs and phones into our bedrooms which, I believe, are one of the main causes of not being able to get to sleep. Screens emit blue light which cause our body’s circadian rhythm (our body clock) to malfunction. Blue light can interfere with the production of melatonin, the hormone that regulates sleep. If you don’t feel tired, the chances are that you’ve been late-night texting or watching your favourite series on Netflix in the wee hours. If you need to use your screens in the evening, you can download f.lux – free software that adjusts the light levels on your screen and helps reduce the impact of blue light.

Eating a sensible meal before bed can also help a lot. Avoid fatty, starchy, sugary foods and make sure you eat enough. If you feel peckish in the night – get up and eat something like a banana.

Regular exercise is important in helping you sleep. Just don’t exercise too near bedtime as this can stimulate you and interfere with your body clock. If you want to do some exercise near bedtime, I would recommend light stretching or yoga, as this isn’t too strenuous and can prove relaxing.

Worry and stress can certainly play a big role in being ready for sleep. While there are a lot of things that can help you relax, one of the best things to do is to have a pad of paper and a pen by your bed. If something is really exercising your mind, write it down, get it out of your head and address it in the morning. This way you shouldn’t have to spend all night ruminating over it, or worrying you’ll forget something.

If I only did three things to help sleep better what would they be?

• Set yourself a cut-off time for electronics – e.g. "from 10pm I won’t look at my phone until the morning or watch TV."
• Have a relaxing routine at the end of your day: take a bath; make a cup of herb tea; read a chapter of a book; have a chat to a loved one. This creates a lovely ritual and can help you wind down and relax, meaning it’s easier for you to settle at bedtime.
• Keep your bedroom clutter-free, calm and cool as your bedroom has to be conducive to sleep. Having a messy and chaotic room can result in you feeling the same way!

How much sleep do you get a night? Have you got any tips that mean you get your forty winks?

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Answering your questions - Walking

A video answering a viewer's questions about walking.

Lao Tzu - "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step."

More information from Life In Recovery on walking:

Article on the benefits of walking

Video on walking for your health

Video on getting active after being bedbound

Video on basic gym workouts and exercise

Video on progressing gym workouts (including step-by-step routine)

How to get in touch:

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Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/
Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com
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Wellbeing Basics: My Guest Series for The Olive Fox

Just a little post announcing some exciting news - I'm writing a Wellbeing Basics series for online magazine The Olive Fox.

I was sent an email by the lovely duo Suzy and Beth, that are The Olive Fox, asking if I wanted to write monthly for their online magazine and I (of course) said yes!

I came up with the idea of writing a Basics series for their Wellbeing section. In it I will address all the 'basics' - sleeping, eating, breathing, exercising, laughing, relaxing, crying, loving (and that's just for starters)! Article by article, month by month, I will write a piece covering each 'basic' to help you create a stable, balanced and holistic lifestyle.

The first in the series is all about sleep and can be found here.

Do you have any ideas for other posts that cover the basics of life? Write a comment below or use the links and let me know - I'd love to hear what you consider a life essential...

How to get in touch:

YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/Recovering_Life
Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/
Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com
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Reflections - things I learned from 2015

For the second of my 'Goodbye 2015; Hello 2016' blog posts I am writing a list of some of the things I learned in 2015.
Again, I feel like it's a good way to reflect on the past year and maybe one or two of these things might chime a bell with you.

• Sometimes I can't see what's right in front of me

• Sometimes I don't want to see what's right in front of me

• I can procrastinate like a boss

• I can't use phrases like "like a boss"

• First impressions can be very right

• First impressions can be very wrong

• How to use a semi-colon properly; life-changing

• Being kind to yourself is hard

• I always pack too much stuff

• I'd rather regret something I did than regret something I didn't do

• If it feels wrong it probably is 

• Decent haircuts in London don't have to cost the earth 

• Those little blue ticks on WhatsApp are the best thing

• Those little blue ticks on WhatsApp are the worst thing

• Trust your gut

• Forgiving others is easier than forgiving yourself 

• If you really want to spend time with someone you will - and if someone really wants to spend time with you they will

• If you're unsure about something just wait 

• Waterproof eyeliner/mascara ain't always so waterproof

• Just because you feel negatively about yourself doesn't mean it's true - or that other people feel the same about you 

• Wait until lasagne is cold before portioning it up for the freezer or things get very messy

• Even when you feel like your whole world is imploding you can still keep going (and it's probably not your "whole" world)

• Things do get better 

• Pacing is not overrated 

• I'm still recovering 

• Work and studies can get you through tough times

• Friends and family can get you through tough times

• YOU can get yourself through tough times 

• If you can't trust yourself you can't expect others to

• Don't say one thing and do another 

• Be consistent and congruent 

• Honesty is the best policy - especially with yourself 

• Listen to your body

• It's okay to ask for help 

• Don't see everything as a battle

• It's okay to feel like you don't know what you're doing

• However much you plan you will never be able to outwit fate/The Gods/time/death/accidents/illness/anything and everything else

• Happiness feels amazing

• I can surprise myself just as much as others can surprise me

• Life is an incredible, surprising, wonderful thing 

What did 2015 teach you?

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How to manage Perfectionism and the Pursuit of Perfection

A video about perfectionism and how, in the extreme, it could be detrimental to health and well-being. This video contains some guidance on how to gain a more balanced outlook.

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself” - Anna Quindlen.

I really hope you enjoy watching the videos and that they can help you or someone you know. I would love to hear from you if you have anything you would like to say.

How to get in touch:

YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2
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Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk
Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com
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Jargon Buster - Psychosomatic

A short film explaining the meaning of the word 'Psychosomatic'.

"Your body hears everything your mind says" - Naomi Judd

Links to online information:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mind-body-connection/201306/chronic-pain-syndrome-and-other-psychosomatic-illness

http://staroversky.com/blog/psychosomatic-illness

http://www.patient.co.uk/health/psychosomatic-disorders

I really hope you enjoy watching the videos and that they can help you or someone you know. I would love to hear from you if you have anything you would like to say.

How to get in touch:

YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2

Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/Recovering_Life

Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/

Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Recovering.Life

Useful Sites/Links - Self-Love Series

I'm very excited to talk to you briefly about a Self-Love Series set-up and hosted by (the really, very awesome and lovely) Suzy of Eeep! I'm a blogger.

You can hear what prompted Suzy to start this fabulous series here.

This is an idea that I have, myself, thought about doing but I've never actually had the gumption to do it! So, I was thrilled when Suzy asked if I would like to contribute a piece to the Self-Love Series. I feel the series dove-tails with and compliments very nicely the aims of Life In Recovery. I'm excited to be part of something so proactive, positive and filled with a sense of community.

As Suzy herself says: "The overall aim is for this series to create an ongoing community of people who can support each other towards feeling happier and positive in ourselves because everyone knows it’s hard to do things on your own. We’re not talking crazy diets, we’re not talking dramatic personality changes, we’re talking small steps towards a bigger goal. I want you to be part of what I hope is going to be an awesome self-love community. So, who’s in?!"

(Well me, definitely!)

There are going to be posts on Suzy's site popping up throughout January and February. Look out for mine on Friday 6th February...But until then, check out the archive page here on Suzy's site for all the incredible content from some amazingly talented bloggers that might help to boost your self-esteem, channel positivity and generally find a happier (and ultimately) healthier way of life.

How to get in touch:

YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/Recovering_Life
Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/
Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Recovering.Life

Christmas - Help to get through the festive season

(Please excuse the ridiculous screenshot!)

A short film with guidance on coping during the festive season.

Blog post with more information: http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/merry-christmas-from-life-in-recovery.html

“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!” Dr Seuss - How The Grinch Stole Christmas!

I really hope you enjoy watching the videos and that they can help you or someone you know. I would love to hear from you if you have anything you would like to say.

How to get in touch:

YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/Recovering_Life
Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/
Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Recovering.Life

My UNA-UK article on the need for holistic healthcare

A few months ago I was asked if I would like to write an article for the United Nations Association - UK (UNA-UK) quarterly magazine New World. I jumped at the opportunity, of course! I'm happy to be able to say that the magazine and web exclusive articles have now been published.

If you've never heard of UNA-UK before then this little blurb taken from their website might help explain who they are and what they do. 

"The United Nations Association - UK (UNA-UK) is the UK's leading source of independent analysis on the UN, and a UK-wide grassroots movement.

UNA-UK believes that a strong, credible and effective UN is essential if we are to build a safer, fairer and more sustainable world. We advocate strong government support for the UN and demonstrate why the UN matters to people everywhere.

We pursue this mission by:

• Connecting people to the work and values of the UN
• Influencing decision-makers and opinion-shapers to support UN goals
• Explaining how the UN works and what it can realistically achieve
• Stimulating debate and action on how to make the UN more effective
• Equipping our members and supporters to further all of these aims

UNA-UK derives great strength from its members and supporters, and UK-wide network of local, school and university branches. Together, they form a critical mass of support for the UN in the UK and beyond."

The Winter Issue of New World is a bumper double edition with one publication dedicated to looking at Britain's role on the world stage and the Autumn section addresses the field of global health, the world's major health concerns and the UN's efforts to tackle them. There are also articles published as web exclusives (which mine is one of.)

In both issues there are some incredible articles, essays and infographics. The subjects range from foreign policy to the Ebola virus, HIV/AIDS therapies to concerns about the access to healthcare in developing countries. The magazine also raises fundamental questions about the world we live in and I would strongly recommend giving the current and past issues a read as they are a gold-mine of information and eye-opening stories from people 'in-the-know' and on the front-lines of the issues being discussed.

If you wish to read the article I wrote on the need for a more holistic approach to health then I'd love for it to start a conversation about the importance of assessing and treating individuals' health as a 'whole.'

How to get in touch:

YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2

Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/Recovering_Life

Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/

Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Recovering.Life

Useful Sites/Links - Introducing you to GeesGang

I have recently become aware of a new website and charity called GeesGang.
Set up and run by someone who suffers from depression to help benefit those who are struggling and suffering under the weight of mental illness.

So what's GeesGang's mission? (Direct quote from their website) "To train as a Talking Therapist costs over a £1000.00 and our mission is to raise enough money to pay for people to train as therapists to help the 1 in 4 adults and kids that desperately need their help. We’d also like to open a free phone call centre where people can ring in privacy and know with confidence that the person at the other end of the line can help them. Get Therapists into schools and colleges to help the kids that may be struggling with everyday life."
I personally think this is a hugely admirable mission statement.

You can check out the GeesGang website here. They're also on Twitter and Facebook.

I have been lucky enough to be included on their site http://geesgang.com/recovery and am so pleased that they have lots of other useful information for people including diet, exercise and details on different therapies.

How to get in touch:

YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/Recovering_Life
Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/
Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Recovering.Life