Reflections - things I learned from 2017

Here is the second instalment of 2017's Reflection series. If you didn't see the first post - click here.

If you want to see previous posts then the links are below:

Favourites of 2015

Favourites of 2016

Lessons of 2015

Lessons of 2016

• Always, always, always listen to your gut 

• It's okay to let people go

• Tough love actually works

• I cry at weddings

• If you let your guard down and people in, you can be rewarded 

• Despite the above, you do sometimes need to keep your guard up

• You can still be empathic and a shoulder to cry on without taking on everyone's troubles as if they are your own

• Every cloud has a silver lining, and with every difficult experience comes a lesson or a little more knowledge about life, yourself and people

• Be honest when you need help AND ASK FOR IT 

• Don't get a massage just before exam and revision period

• First, second and third impressions can be wrong

• You can miss someone you don't even really know 

• Imposter syndrome is pandemic 

• Sometimes you just know when something has to end 

• If you want something to happen - don't be afraid to go for it

• Working > studying 

• Having a place to call home is more important than I realised 

• I'm ready to stop going to the hospital 

• I can sorta, kinda "run" a 10k

• Tea-pickled eggs are not as enjoyable to eat as they are to make 

• I'm still making rookie mistakes 

• The idea of someone or something is often better than reality

• Reality is sometimes better than the idea of something or someone

• People can disappoint you and let you down

• You can expect too much from people so you end up feeling disappointed and let down

• Figuring out what you don't want is as instructive as figuring out what you do want 

• Puns are a universal language

• I could be a professional secret keeper 

• Baked goods are a great ice-breaker 

• I no longer enjoy Twitter 

• I will never grow tired of life, or of living 

• There are a lot of compliments I need to practice accepting 

• Some people don't want advice, even if they ask for it

• Some of my favourite people think I'm one of their favourite people too

• You can be surprised by who your favourite people end up being

• You can curl your hair with hair-straighteners

• Storage heaters are more complicated to understand than a law degree

• I need both the City and the countryside to stay sane

• Libraries are actually a good place to study

• I am very lucky 

• Life is still an incredible, surprising and wonderful thing (and far too much has happened this year for me to neatly sum it up in these lessons)

What life lessons did 2017 bring for you?

How to get in touch:
YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/Recovering_Life
Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/
Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Recovering.Life

Reflections - some of my favourites of 2017

As I have taken to do at this time of year, I wanted to take some time to reflect on the past year. Two posts will follow - this one of some of my favourite things of 2017, and another one on things I've learned in the last year (coming soon). I will try not repeat too many of the same things from previous years' posts, but be warned there may be a few similar!

If you want to see previous posts then the links are below:

Favourites of 2015 

Favourites of 2016

Lessons of 2015

Lessons of 2016

As I said last year (and the year before)...without further ado, and in the immortal words of Julie Andrews, these are a few of my favourite things (from 2017)...

• Red wine

• Reunions

• Rooftop bars in London

• Walking - both for perspective and health

• End of exams - especially if someone else pays for a celebratory lunch

• My gut instinct

• Getting braver, and going for what I want

• Polaroid pictures 

• My friends and family 

• A summer of work

• An actual cat burglar 

• Re-watching my 1SecondEveryday videos 

• Month In Review videos - even if I don't film them every month...

• Playing join-the-dots with freckles

• Pimms/Beer/Cider/Picnics at the cricket

• Impromptu plans - although I don't think you can actually plan anything that is impromptu...

• Being a pedant - see above

• Trying (and failing) to (temporarily) dye my hair purple

• Friends trekking across London to provide sustenance of more than one kind

• Texts that start with, "Do you want to come round to mine for dinner?" and end with "I'll cook".

• Perfecting my party trick of pill-swallowing

• Staycations

• FINALLY getting free coffee(s) at Pret

• Kumquats

• Telling stories about kumquats

• Being teased about my stories of kumquats

• My being-discharged-from-hospital anniversary being renamed my squirrel anniversary

• Reaching four years since I left hospital

• Puns - forever and always one of the ways to my heart

• Well-timed, freshly-boiled kettles

• Good grammar

• Good manners

• "Good morning"s

• Good referencing - in life, not just in essays

• Making time for self-care

• Sheet masks

• Yoga – especially Child’s Pose

• Early nights

• Late nights

• A dazzlingly coloured wireless speaker

• The Eiffel Tower light show

• Being the hostess

• Being the hosted 

• Being mistaken for a Parisian

• Being afraid of an answer, but asking anyway

• Robing rooms and court rooms (as always)

• Having one of my idols as a mentor

• The notification "xxxx has tagged you in a comment/post"

• Voice notes

• Screenshots and a flurry of messaging

• Still having more favourites than not, despite a roller-coaster of a year

...and so much more...

What are your favourite things of 2017? 

How to get in touch:
YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/Recovering_Life
Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/
Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Recovering.Life

Reflections - things I learned from 2016

Here is the second instalment of my 'Reflecting on 2016' series. If you didn't catch the first one, listing some of my favourite things click here, and if you want to read my life lessons from 2015, and see if I repeat any (I did have to check myself) then click here...

• Being a student isn't all laughter and hanging out with your mates

• Being a student isn't all studying and hanging out in the library

• You can't make yourself feel more for someone than you do, however much you may want to

• Grief can hit you out of the blue

• I don't like my family living in different countries

• Change is good

• I'm learning to love LinkedIn

• My intuition/gut instinct is spookily correct

• Law degrees are hard work

• Goodbyes are never easy

• I somehow know enough about make-up that I got offered a job at Space NK on a window-shopping trip

• Just because someone has done a "bad" thing, it doesn't make them a "bad" person

• Sometimes you have to go further into something to get closure/know where you stand/know how you feel

• I look younger than I am

• 'Feeling the fear and doing it anyway' is harder than it sounds

• I'm more comfortable with being wrong, or looking silly, than I ever have been

• I don't always practise what I preach

• When you know, you know, and don't let anyone (including yourself) convince you that you don't

• I have a fantastic NHS doctor (not a new lesson)

• It takes me a while to open up, and that's okay (another not new lesson)

• I love an afternoon of batch-cooking

• Flu over Christmas and New Year is the worst

• I'm one of life's feeders/looker-afterers

• It's enough for things to be 'good enough'

• It's okay to feel like you've made a mistake 

• I'd rather try than not

• I'm still finding my balance

• I'm still finding my health

• I can be made speechless

• I can achieve things I thought were impossible for me

• There is always a positive to every negative

• This year has far outweighed my expectations

• I am now sufficiently enough of a grown-up that if I get a bad haircut, I don't cry

• I am not sufficiently enough of a grown-up when it comes to needing help with my CV

• Inside me is a lioness that I am able to tap into more and more

• Life is still an incredible, surprising and wonderful thing (and far too much has happened this year for me to neatly sum it up in these lessons)

What life lessons did 2016 bring for you?

How to get in touch:

YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/Recovering_Life
Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/
Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Recovering.Life

Reflections - things I learned from 2015

For the second of my 'Goodbye 2015; Hello 2016' blog posts I am writing a list of some of the things I learned in 2015.
Again, I feel like it's a good way to reflect on the past year and maybe one or two of these things might chime a bell with you.

• Sometimes I can't see what's right in front of me

• Sometimes I don't want to see what's right in front of me

• I can procrastinate like a boss

• I can't use phrases like "like a boss"

• First impressions can be very right

• First impressions can be very wrong

• How to use a semi-colon properly; life-changing

• Being kind to yourself is hard

• I always pack too much stuff

• I'd rather regret something I did than regret something I didn't do

• If it feels wrong it probably is 

• Decent haircuts in London don't have to cost the earth 

• Those little blue ticks on WhatsApp are the best thing

• Those little blue ticks on WhatsApp are the worst thing

• Trust your gut

• Forgiving others is easier than forgiving yourself 

• If you really want to spend time with someone you will - and if someone really wants to spend time with you they will

• If you're unsure about something just wait 

• Waterproof eyeliner/mascara ain't always so waterproof

• Just because you feel negatively about yourself doesn't mean it's true - or that other people feel the same about you 

• Wait until lasagne is cold before portioning it up for the freezer or things get very messy

• Even when you feel like your whole world is imploding you can still keep going (and it's probably not your "whole" world)

• Things do get better 

• Pacing is not overrated 

• I'm still recovering 

• Work and studies can get you through tough times

• Friends and family can get you through tough times

• YOU can get yourself through tough times 

• If you can't trust yourself you can't expect others to

• Don't say one thing and do another 

• Be consistent and congruent 

• Honesty is the best policy - especially with yourself 

• Listen to your body

• It's okay to ask for help 

• Don't see everything as a battle

• It's okay to feel like you don't know what you're doing

• However much you plan you will never be able to outwit fate/The Gods/time/death/accidents/illness/anything and everything else

• Happiness feels amazing

• I can surprise myself just as much as others can surprise me

• Life is an incredible, surprising, wonderful thing 

What did 2015 teach you?

How to get in touch:

YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/Recovering_Life
Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/
Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Recovering.Life

Reflections - Some of my favourites of 2015

I was wondering what might be a fitting way to mark the close of 2015 and the start of 2016 here on the blog...
I decided that the best and most positive way was to create two posts; one listing some of my (slightly random and more blog-friendly) favourite things/events of the year and another post talking about the things I've learned from this year. It's a nice way to reflect on the past year and take stock of what has been a mammoth of a year.
So, without further ado, and in the immortal words of Julie Andrews - these are a few of my favourite things (from 2015).

• Family and friends - they have to go top of this list! 

• Freckles

• The plethora of Agatha Christie whodunnits on Radio Four Extra to mark 125 years since the great authoress was born

• Dark 'n' Stormy cocktails

• This tiny snippet of TV gold 

• Sharing recipes with friends - always love to try new and exciting foods, although there's no pre-requisite for the food to be either new or exciting

• Spelling

• The London Legal Walk - and everything that happened as a result 

• The countryside

• Netflix - oh so many hours indulging my love of trash TV and rewatching classics like The Thick Of It

• The word "Yes"

• The word "No"

• Reaching the two-years-since-I-was-discharged milestone

• Talking all night

• Sleeping all night

• Getting a job that I love 

• Walking

• Holidays (especially if they come with a surprise room upgrade and are a decade overdue)

• Singing in the Royal Albert Hall again

• Writing essays and taking exams - not always my favourite thing to do, but worth an honourable mention as I spent so much of the first part of 2015 doing them!

• The Self-Love Series

• Realising I have more than one shoulder to cry on

• Discovering the band Chvrches: going to see them live and getting tickets for their special gig next year at the RAH

• London

• A Summer of watching cricket and drinking beer

• Finding pilpel and their amazing falafel 

• Robing rooms and court rooms

• Dancing (with or without shoes)

• Being surprised by my new love of watching the Tour de France

• Puns

• Theatre-going 

• Tea - all day erryday

• Celebrating whenever and wherever you can

...and so much more! 

What are some of your favourite things of 2015? 

How to get in touch:

YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/Recovering_Life
Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/
Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Recovering.Life

Are making New Year's Resolutions the healthiest way to start your year?

I didn't want the first week of 2014 to pass without writing something about people's fixations for making New Year's Resolutions every year. Don't mistake me in thinking that I'm a cynical and pessimistic kind of person, New Year's Resolutions are a great way to embrace the new year with a list of the things you really want to achieve, work on, experience etc. However, when did it become socially unacceptable to not make resolutions? 

At the beginning of every year the inevitable question is asked by others "So what are your New Year's Resolutions this year?" and the general consensus if your answer is "I'm actually not making any resolutions this year" is that you either aren't ambitious, steadfast, future-thinking or motivated enough or you are depressed about the new year. These may be partly true or all true, you may be dreading the year ahead or you may not want to or feel the need to change anything in your life. On the other hand your aims for the coming year may not be as clear and concrete in your mind as in others. You may just have a general idea of where you would like to be in your life. Just because you haven't sat down and plotted out this next year doesn't mean you don't have hopes and dreams of the future. It doesn't mean that you are blindly entering 2014 with no direction. It doesn't mean that you are accepting that you can't get better/be better/feel better. It doesn't mean part of you has thrown in the towel or is apathetic about life. And it doesn't make you any worse than other people who have made New Year's Resolutions.

Another point that comes to mind when thinking about New Year's Resolutions involves the words 'pressure' and 'fail.' Does it really help people live happy and fulfilling lives for there to be so much pressure surrounding keeping New Year's Resolutions? Being branded or branding yourself as a failure if you don't manage to attain all your resolutions for the year is such a negative cycle to get into. Doing a quick search online for statistics in relation to New Year's Resolutions there are numerous articles and lots of research into how many people achieve all the goals they set themselves at the beginning of the year. A study in 2007 at Bristol University found that 88% (out of the 3000 involved) did not keep their resolutions, other statistics suggest as little as 8% of people who make resolutions actually succeed in their target. Articles giving advice on being successful in achieving them are generally titled along the lines of 'Why New Year's Resolutions fail. Here's how not to fail yours.' and 'Only ...% of people succeed in their New Year's goals. Our advice on how to be one of them.' The articles may be fantastic and may contain lots of useful tips and advice on keeping to your goals but it does create a sense that there's an 'us' and a 'them' scenario. Of the people who make resolutions there becomes two groups, those who 'fail' and those who 'succeed.'

I think a more healthy way of approaching New Year's Resolutions is to keep any ideas achievable and more general. For example instead of saying that you would like to run this year's London Marathon in under 6 hours why not make it that you would like to just run more. Or instead of setting a target to cut out dairy, wheat and sugar from your diet you could make it a little more flexible by cutting down on them by not buying cakes or cheese with your usual shopping or just eliminating one of them as a more manageable goal. I think the most important thing to do is to not think that it's the be-all and end-all to set and achieve New Year's Resolutions. A few little targets are a great thing to keep in mind throughout the year as a motivational tool but not as a way to beat yourself up or make yourself feel like an underachiever or failure. In conclusion, if you're going to make New Year's Resolutions this year then try to make them more realistic and attainable. Having someone who knows what it is you want to achieve can be a helpful thing or doing something as a joint resolution can be a more fun and fulfilling pursuit than going solo.

Whatever your wishes and goals for 2014 I hope that it's a wonderful year for you all.

Merry Christmas from Life In Recovery: Help coping during the Festive Season

I would like to wish you all a very happy Christmastime. If you are spending this festive season with your friends and family then I hope you manage to enjoy their company to the fullest.

For my household this is an extra special Yuletide as we are spending time together and are all the healthiest and heartiest for over a decade.

With so many years and anniversaries spent unwell I am well aware that this time of year can prove hard for people who are not at their full health. Whether you can't travel to meet family, leave your bed to join in with the festivities around you or get stuck in with the whirlwind of activity surrounding this period I really hope and wish that you are able to feel some of the love and good wishes from your nearest and dearest. 

I also understand that not everyone will have their loved ones with them and because of this Christmas can feel a lonely, frightening and isolating time. Also with lots of people coming together over the next couple of weeks there may be the odd clash of personalities or egos. When there are simmering tensions between people it can make the time rather awful and you go around walking on eggshells. My only advice is to not feel you are responsible for everyone else's happiness and that if there are problems that need resolving to allow them to be aired as in the long run it's a much healthier thing than to suppress any niggling issues. Pushing things down inside you, letting things fester and quietly seething about such-and-such/so-and-so is not the way to find peace within yourself or with others. It may be an uncomfortable experience to be open about things with others but try to be honest about how things are affecting you.

If you are dreading Christmas and New Year this year for any reason (be it for health, family or lifestyle reasons) then I hope that this message might help you feel less alone. I was in a rather poor state health-wise this time last year and if things can improve for me then they can improve for you too.

Please feel free to leave a comment below if you feel there is anything you can contribute to this short post whether it's advice, personal experiences or just a hello. I have found a few articles online that address specific issues around coping during Christmas. Here are the links.

Bereavement: http://www.cruse.org.uk/about-grief/Christmas

Cancer: http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/cancer-help/about-cancer/cancer-questions/coping-with-christmas-when-you-have-cancer

Divorce or Separation: http://familylives.org.uk/advice/divorce-and-separation/coping-with-holidays/coping-with-christmas-when-your-divorced-or-separated/

Depression and Stress: http://www.webmd.boots.com/depression/guide/christmas-depression-stress

Christmas alone: http://www.webmd.boots.com/depression/features/lonely-this-christmas

Eating disorder: http://www.b-eat.co.uk/get-help/about-eating-disorders/coping-at-christmas/

M.E./CFS and Fibromyalgia: http://www.cortjohnson.org/blog/2013/11/26/surviving-holidays-chronic-fatigue-syndrome-fibromyalgia-how/

Again I wish you a Happy Christmas 2013 wherever you are and whoever you are with.