Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Friday, 19 January 2018

Life In Recovery: No More Hospital

I started Life In Recovery with the sole aim to help people find hope and help if they (or their loved ones) were struggling with a long-term illness. I have been quite careful (and conscious) that I use my own experiences to that end, while not making this corner of the internet about me. That is why I have never said my name, nor shared a lot of intimate detail about my past, present or future life; I have always felt that would get in the way of providing help and hope, and it isn't something I find comfortable. However, there have been times when I have shared some of my more personal moments; for example, my anniversary posts (check out year one, year two, year three, and year four if you've missed them). This week marked another big moment in my recovery, and I wanted to share some of the words I wrote to friends and family members on here too - as you, and this blog, have also been part of the story.


"I bet you all thought you'd got away without another of these streams of consciousness until my next anniversary post in August, but no...
Today marks a big moment in my recovery; my last hospital appointment. I told my doctor I felt I was ready to stop attending appointments back in May, and it's taken eight months to get to this point. After years of meetings and treatment since my discharge as an inpatient in August 2013, to say that the relationship my doctor and I built during the past four years (a momentous period of my life) became a very important one, is an understatement. Finishing that chapter, and leaving that relationship, has been a big step; but one that I chose and feel ready for. Today I said goodbye to my doctor (with smiles, tears and big hugs), today I was able to try and thank my doctor, today I moved into a new phase of my life, today I reflected on how far I've come and today I was made to realise just how far that is. If you're reading this, it means you've been part of the story so far (even if it's just been in the last chapter, or the latest page), and it means you'll be part of the rest of my onward (and hospital-less) life. For that I thank you, and I'm so excited to see where life takes us all. It's been an incredibly emotional day; I've been through stacks of tissues...but now it's time to dry my eyes and look forward. Anyway, here ends the thought-vomit, it just leaves me to say how grateful I feel to be where I am in my life, and to say a very heartfelt and extra-special thank you to those of you who helped me get here - I couldn't have done it without you. "

This is how I felt on Wednesday afternoon. I do, however, want to write up how I am feeling now - a couple of days later - and also see how I feel in a couple of weeks, so there will be another blog post on that in the next month or so. 
Also, keep your eyes out for a separate piece coming very soon about how I said goodbye to that doctor/patient relationship and my thoughts on how important that relationship can be...

Have their been therapeutic relationships you've found hard to let go?

How to get in touch (and all that social media stuff)

Wednesday, 30 December 2015

Reflections - Some of my favourites of 2015

I was wondering what might be a fitting way to mark the close of 2015 and the start of 2016 here on the blog...
I decided that the best and most positive way was to create two posts; one listing some of my (slightly random and more blog-friendly) favourite things/events of the year and another post talking about the things I've learned from this year. It's a nice way to reflect on the past year and take stock of what has been a mammoth of a year.
So, without further ado, and in the immortal words of Julie Andrews - these are a few of my favourite things (from 2015).

  • Family and friends - they have to go top of this list! 
  • Freckles
  • The plethora of Agatha Christie whodunnits on Radio Four Extra to mark 125 years since the great authoress was born
  • Sharing recipes with friends - always love to try new and exciting foods, although there's no pre-requisite for the food to be either new or exciting
  • Spelling
  • The countryside
  • Netflix - oh so many hours indulging my love of trash TV and rewatching classics like The Thick Of It
  • The word "Yes"
  • The word "No"
  • Talking all night
  • Sleeping all night
  • Getting a job that I love 
  • Walking
  • Holidays (especially if they come with a surprise room upgrade and are a decade overdue)
  • Writing essays and taking exams - not always my favourite thing to do, but worth an honourable mention as I spent so much of the first part of 2015 doing them!
  • Realising I have more than one shoulder to cry on
  • Discovering the band Chvrches: going to see them live and getting tickets for their special gig next year at the RAH
  • London
  • A Summer of watching cricket and drinking beer
  • Finding pilpel and their amazing falafel 
  • Robing rooms and court rooms
  • Dancing (with or without shoes)
  • Being surprised by my new love of watching the Tour de France
  • Puns
  • Theatre-going 
  • Tea - all day erryday
  • Celebrating whenever and wherever you can
...and so much more! 

What are some of your favourite things of 2015? 

How to get in touch:

Sunday, 21 December 2014

Christmas - Help to get through the festive season


(Please excuse the ridiculous screenshot!)

A short film with guidance on coping during the festive season.

Blog post with more information: http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/merry-christmas-from-life-in-recovery.html

“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!” Dr Seuss - How The Grinch Stole Christmas!

I really hope you enjoy watching the videos and that they can help you or someone you know. I would love to hear from you if you have anything you would like to say.

How to get in touch:

YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/Recovering_Life
Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/
Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Recovering.Life

Tuesday, 5 August 2014

Anniversary - One year on from hospital....

I have just written a 'status update' on my personal Facebook page to my friends and it occurred to me that I also want to say thank you to all of YOU. So I'm going to paste in what I wrote word-for-word on here.
This isn't something I thought I would ever feel comfortable doing. I try to keep Life In Recovery and my personal life reasonably separate. Not because I am ashamed of the blog but because I think it works better if I don't use this as a platform to air my private life and that I use my past and present experiences in a constructive way to help others who may be struggling. That won't be changing.

Keeping this blog, creating videos and posting little (or a lotta) bits on Twitter has been an absolutely wonderful experience. I hope to continue the work I have only just started and love interacting and discovering all of you 'out there.' This is why I felt it was relevant to post the message I sent to my friends and family to you all as well.

So here goes...

I don't normally do this on FB but it's a handy way to reach a lot of you all at once!

Some of you will already be aware of the significance of today's date to me but for those who aren't...Today (August 5th) marks exactly one year since I was discharged from hospital!

Words can't express how wonderful and incredible the last year has been. To be able to be writing this at all is mind-blowing!

I can't say thank you enough to those of you who helped me through the tough (!) times for so many years. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I wouldn't be here today without you. Your ongoing friendship means the world to me.

To the friends I've met more recently I also wish to thank you hugely. Your support, understanding and most of all your inclusion of me in your lives has been so amazing and life-enhancing.

I thought about how I wanted to mark today and decided very quickly that I wanted to go back to the hospital I was last in. So today I am off to pay a visit to the unit I spent my last few inpatient months in. Taking along a HUGE home-baked carrot cake, lots of tissues and a sack full of gratitude and news! I'm going to spend a couple of hours seeing some of the doctors and nurses who have made such an impact in my life and I’ll also be able to tell them that properly face-to-face.

Going back today will also be a chance to reflect on and try to digest the enormity of the past year and just be able to reflect on how much has changed for the better. The past year has been full of firsts (and seconds and thirds…) and it's been a roller-coaster ride of epic proportions to say the least.

I wish I could convey to you all how much I appreciate and value your presence. Sharing this new chapter in my life and revelling in the real chance of a happy, healthy and full life is the best I can do to show this. I know how lucky I am to have such excellent family and friends.

Here's to another blockbuster of a year!

With love, thanks and amazement.


How to get in touch:

YouTube - http://t.co/CGZBkZnWU2
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/Recovering_Life
Blog - http://yourlifeinrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/
Email - yourlifeinrecovery@gmail.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Recovering.Life

Thursday, 8 May 2014

Realities of Recovery: Navigating the sometimes treacherous waters of recovery

What is the best word to describe the opposite of illness? Health, wellness, being disease free are all great options to use. However, what if you’re not exactly ‘well’ and also not entirely ‘unwell’? I would imagine the words recovering, recuperating and healing might come to mind. But what does it really mean to experience them? Everybody knows what being well means and, unfortunately, many people also know what ill health involves however when you are going through a recovery process that can be months or years long it is harder to quantify. Obviously people’s experiences will all differ in many things but I'm going to try to cover some of the important things you may encounter if you are slowly regaining health after chronic illness. I felt moved to write this as I am experiencing exactly this phase and have come across many things that I didn't realise would be involved in recovery and many subtle elements that can all add up to make you feel overwhelmed, lost, tired, frustrated and a multitude of other unpleasant feelings that are not beneficial to overall good health.

·         Bruises – Six months on and I am still picking up bruises very easily. My guess would be that my body simply isn't used to going through the motions of everyday life yet. My knees and feet seem to always have bruises over them. Some people recommend rubbing arnica onto fresh bruises to speed up healing. I haven’t found a way to stop getting bruised (apart from never going near anything ever again!) but I think once my body has adjusted it won’t happen so much.

·         Forgetting to take your medication (for people who self-administer) – I found this happened to me for the first couple of weeks after I came out of hospital. When you’re an inpatient you have very set times for taking medication and a nurse will bring you them so there’s no chance of missing a dose. However once you’re home there’s usually no constant reminder. Obviously it’s very important to take anything you have been prescribed but I think it’s also important to take medication/supplements at the same time each day so your body can maintain it’s equilibrium more easily. Initially I set an alarm for each of the medicines I was taking (as I take them at different times throughout the day/night) and once I got into a good routine I stopped the alarm system and I haven’t missed a dose since! For those of you not so technologically minded then a note by the side of your bed may work or one by your kettle/toothbrush/front door may help to jog your memory.

·         Blisters and general feet issues – This has been one of those problems that I had never considered. I was bed-bound/bedridden for years and once I was starting to walk again I found that my feet couldn't tolerate shoes for a while. I wore slippers and then moved onto pumps and then trainers to help with support and comfort while getting used to walking again. Blisters and cuts were and still are a problem. When you haven’t walked for a long time your feet lose their calluses and hardened skin. Those of you who spend hours moisturising your feet to get them baby soft in the summer months will probably be wrinkling your noses in disgust but that tougher skin is there for a reason.  The parts of your feet that get the most pressure and wear need to be harder than the rest of the skin on your body. I found a good way of speeding up the calluses forming was to apply surgical spirit (rubbing alcohol) to the areas needed. The blisters are unavoidable but I have found that putting blister plasters over them is the most comfortable way to cushion them so that you don’t stop walking because of the discomfort. I tried many different types of plasters, bandages and surgical-grade dressings but the hands-down winner has to be Compeed blister plasters. The most important thing is to not stop walking when you are trying to relearn things like gait, pacing etc. Putting progress on hold while waiting for blisters to heal will only makes things more difficult and also the chances are you’ll immediately get another blister when you restart. I'm afraid it’s another case of grin and bear it or make that - slap a Compeed plaster on them and keep going!

·         Changes in the outside world and adjusting to life at a new level – this may seem like an obvious thing but I found that when I started getting out and about more I realised just how out of touch with the world I had become. There are so many seemingly inconsequential shifts that you become aware of that can create a feeling of disorientation and like you are in an unfamiliar environment that doesn't help you integrate. After my discharge from hospital I noticed things like plants that had been barely out of the ground when I had last been well were now great big trees, buildings had disappeared or been built, shops had moved locations. The list goes on! There were also the slightly more practical things that I had to get used to. I live in London and hadn't used an Oyster card before, being driven in a car at 50-70 mph felt like a white knuckle ride, getting back in touch with old friends, finding my way through the world of social media. I also found going into shops with their range of products quite overawing and I struggled to make decisions and choices. I am still finding that having not been in the loop for so many years in relation to current affairs, music, films, media news etc. can contribute to a sense of isolation or separation from your peers. Some of the new things are lovely like a lot of the ‘firsts’: first time you travel by yourself, first meal in a restaurant, first time you brush your teeth, first meal you prepare on your own, first bath…  However if you are feeling a little vulnerable (which you understandably would be) then all these adjustments can take their toll. I'm still experiencing firsts and attuning and adapting to my surroundings and new life but I think with time and the right people surrounding you that you will be able to absorb and digest all these changes and not feel disrupted or disturbed by them so much.

·         Rollercoaster of emotions – just because you may be feeling physically and/or mentally better doesn't always mean that you are going to be happy and smiling all the time. The process of recovery is a long, hard road and there are going to be bumps along the way. Please don’t be disheartened or concerned if you spend some time crying your eyes out or feeling very angry, hurt, guilty or confused. What I have found is that once your whole ‘self’ realises that things are looking up it’s almost as though something inside says “Okay, I can relax now, I don’t need to bottle all these emotions up anymore” Or in other words the barriers or walls you may have built up inside yourself so you could survive the worst times during your illness are starting to crumble. It may feel awful and you may feel as though you are lost at sea but in the end it will help you heal more completely if you can express and consciously feel those emotions.

·         Pacing activity and managing fatigue levels – I really think this deserves it’s own piece as it’s a tricky thing to address concisely because pacing is a very unique and particular thing to do and fatigue can be pretty subjective. However, from my experience I would say that recovering from anything be it an operation, a bereavement, a heart attack, a chronic condition like cancer needs care, self-love, understanding and a holistic approach. This includes pacing yourself and managing fatigue as best as you can. Somebody like an Occupational Therapist is very useful at helping guide you through increasing your activity and trying to assess fatigue states.

·         Family and friends - having enough support from friends, family, the community and the medical profession is vital and it’s sometimes the only thing that keeps you upright. You may be surprised by who is there to help you. I would like to address how best to access after-care in another article as it can be a huge problem.

·         Perspective - If your period of ill-health has lasted years or decades then how can you expect to attain good health in a matter of weeks or months? Keeping some perspective and remembering how far you have come is essential in recuperating as fully as you can.

These are just some of the points that I have learned on my journey towards health. I really hope that this article has helped you either during your recovery or to understand what someone else at this stage may be experiencing. I would like to put one last thing down in a hope that just one person reading this can learn where I have tripped up many times and that is that being kind to oneself, not getting frustrated and keeping expectations to a realistic level is essential when you are trying to navigate the rocky road to recovery. To anyone recovering from a long-term condition I salute you! Well done for getting through the worst intact and here’s to the light at the end of the tunnel. To anyone still in the depths of ill health I would like to say there is hope even if you think “Pah! What do they know?” there is hope. I believe in Cicero’s maxim ‘Where there’s life there’s hope.’

How to get in touch:


Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Merry Christmas from Life In Recovery: Help coping during the Festive Season


I would like to wish you all a very happy Christmastime. If you are spending this festive season with your friends and family then I hope you manage to enjoy their company to the fullest.
For my household this is an extra special Yuletide as we are spending time together and are all the healthiest and heartiest for over a decade.
With so many years and anniversaries spent unwell I am well aware that this time of year can prove hard for people who are not at their full health. Whether you can't travel to meet family, leave your bed to join in with the festivities around you or get stuck in with the whirlwind of activity surrounding this period I really hope and wish that you are able to feel some of the love and good wishes from your nearest and dearest. 
I also understand that not everyone will have their loved ones with them and because of this Christmas can feel a lonely, frightening and isolating time. Also with lots of people coming together over the next couple of weeks there may be the odd clash of personalities or egos. When there are simmering tensions between people it can make the time rather awful and you go around walking on eggshells. My only advice is to not feel you are responsible for everyone else's happiness and that if there are problems that need resolving to allow them to be aired as in the long run it's a much healthier thing than to suppress any niggling issues. Pushing things down inside you, letting things fester and quietly seething about such-and-such/so-and-so is not the way to find peace within yourself or with others. It may be an uncomfortable experience to be open about things with others but try to be honest about how things are affecting you.
If you are dreading Christmas and New Year this year for any reason (be it for health, family or lifestyle reasons) then I hope that this message might help you feel less alone. I was in a rather poor state health-wise this time last year and if things can improve for me then they can improve for you too.
Please feel free to leave a comment below if you feel there is anything you can contribute to this short post whether it's advice, personal experiences or just a hello. I have found a few articles online that address specific issues around coping during Christmas. Here are the links.
Divorce or Separation: http://familylives.org.uk/advice/divorce-and-separation/coping-with-holidays/coping-with-christmas-when-your-divorced-or-separated/

Depression and Stress: http://www.webmd.boots.com/depression/guide/christmas-depression-stress

Christmas alone: http://www.webmd.boots.com/depression/features/lonely-this-christmas

Again I wish you a Happy Christmas 2013 wherever you are and whoever you are with.

Monday, 16 December 2013

Dorset in December: Who says the seaside is only for the summertime?

Here are a few pictures from my trip to Dorset a couple of weeks ago. I was visiting some family who live down there and I had almost forgotten what a lovely county it is. They live on the Jurassic Coast which is home to some of the most beautiful beaches, hills and towns in England. The oldest of the cliffs date back to 250 million years ago!


Looking down the coast towards Devon at West Bay, Dorset


View towards the iconic cliffs of West Bay, Dorset


Lyme Regis, Dorset

Showing the stretch of Jurassic Coast

Incredibly dynamic sky at Lyme Regis, Dorset

Pretty streets and shops in Lyme Regis, Dorset

View of Golden Cap (Dorset's highest peak) from Lyme Regis, Dorset

The Cobb at Lyme Regis, Dorset

The Cobb (of Persuasion and The French Lieutenant's Woman fame) at Lyme Regis, Dorset
I'm a massive Jane Austen-ite so this was lovely to spot.